Cold sweat is rolling down my back, memories flood my mind, sharp pain squeezes my heart. Just a few moments ago I was peaceful, content. I was reading a new book, sitting in a comfy chair under a blanket, while the rain came down hard on the world around me. Hours passed while I was in this quiet state, until I looked up and felt Amelia near me. She was there the whole time, I just didn't see it. So loving, so kind.
And then I remembered. The last day she was alive. I was sitting in our rocking chair, in the same spot by the window, reading and watching the clouds go by. Same hours went by as I sat there peacefully, as if taking one last break before the storm.
The next day she was dead.
I can't sit in that chair anymore. Still, it is the closest thing I have to her right now.
I love you more than words can ever tell,
Till we meet again.
Mama
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
My memories of the last few days my baby was alive are so bittersweet. I remember the day she died vividly. I replay it in my mind over and over wishing I had done something different, something that could have saved her. Be gentle with yourself and hold onto those moments when you feel her close.
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