First thoughts after the Conference.

I wrote this as we took a few minutes to catch our breath outside the venue...

The conference has drawn to a close and everyone went home. Here we are, standing by the entrance, the last ones to leave. A family next to us pulls up in their car and a family of three emerge: father, mother, and daughter. My heart pulls a little (actually, a lot), thinking that this is what should've been, could've been. It will never be and it hurts.

And then there comes Guilt. She says, you have a son, how dare you feel this sadness and wish for your daughter! Would your son be here if she was?

I dislike Mrs. Guilt very much...


Then I look over to the side and see my daughter in her Mimi-doll, sitting quietly in my son's stroller, one model-year newer yet the same as hers would have been, and I realise: I do have a daughter. And I have a son. This will always be. Not the three of us, but the four. And I am now OK with it.

This is something I owe to every person who was in the room at the conference this weekend: participants, presenters, volunteers, and organisers. What a beautiful event it was. Filled with tears, laughter, hugs, and understanding nods and glances. Lots of tissues were used, lots of tea and coffee drank. I also feel that a lot was learned by everyone, a lot was shared. So much support and love for each other. I hope new connections were made that will turn into much needed support and eventually into friendships that will last a lifetime.

It was a beautiful gathering of truly amazing people.

Thank you to everyone for making it possible.