Sometimes I wonder if I can say everything I think and feel out loud? Can I write it down for you to read? What will you make out of it?
Obviously, most people who read my blog understand it based on their life experiences (and Thank You so much for being brave enough to read it).
Hopefully, most people's experiences are very different from mine and their children are alive and well. They have no clue what it's like, yet, they assume things about it. That's just the way life is.
Therefore, I know most interpret my words differently, assigning meaning that is not what I give it. That's fair.
Yet I wonder, can I say that I'm having a horrible day, but it's actually ok as I'm facing my grief head on instead of hiding from it? And can the meaning of my words be understood the way I intend it to and not warped in the decoding process? I don't know the answer, but please keep it in mind...
So there goes:
I'm having a terrible horrible day. I feel like I've been asking for help left, right, and centre, and I'm getting shoved out of the way. I'm so tired of being bereaved, I'm so done with this "new" life. Yet, there is nothing I can do about it and it will never change, so I just sip my wine and eat my friggin' chocolate cake, pardon my language. And I'm ok. I'm awakened. And in a sick sense of the way, I'm grateful.
Still, don't worry, I'll be fine. Just a little wrincled and tired, but fine.