I'm having a bitter-sweet day today. The weather is beautiful and I have no plans but to hang out with my son. We are all healthy and well.
But my daughter would have turned two and a half, had she lived. I would have been happy, proud, excited. Instead I'm sad, tired, and grieving.
I can't say that I'm surprised by this feeling, but it also feels like it came out of the blue, this grief day.
Grief is hard work. Lately I've been getting lots of breaks in the land of the living-child mommy-hood. It's a nice place. I hate to leave it to visit the land of the bereaved, but I get no choice. If I did, Amelia would be turning two and a half today.