We decided to go to the gym everyday this week. Do it together while my hubby has a week off, get into a routine. Got to the gym, everything is great. Of course, the guy taking us through the tour and the sell was our neighbour from before we were even married. Nice guy, we had a pleasant conversation. At some point Amelia came up. We received a nice big round of Congratulations from all sides of the room. We thanked them. Then answered all following questions honestly, but briefly: we had a baby girl, she was over 7lb, that was seven months ago.
The guy obviously assumed she is alive. I mean, that's what most babies do. And we didn't bring it up, we were there for a workout, not a deep sharing session.
It felt good. The idea our baby girl is alive and well. We had a few other times like this, where we left the conversation without telling complete strangers our daughter died. I think it's fair enough. Those moments are so bittersweet. But there is still more sweet in those that the ones where we tell the whole story. I hate those moments, as I usually the one who tries to console others.
So here I am, wondering what my next visit to the gym will be like. And how long can Amelia be alive in that reality.