Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

11 Oct 2011

Thankful for the Love

Amelia and I made a Love cake today. I made the hearts when I was 7-8 months pregnant and she stayed really quiet the whole time, which was very unusual!
It is sometimes hard to find things to be thankful for. When there is too much stress in our lives, our vision becomes clouded. As I stopped to think about gratitude this weekend, at first I felt that I had nothing be grateful for. My heart was hurting, mind racing from a cocktail of emotions. How can I be grateful when my would-be six-month old is buried at our local cemetery?

When I thought about the cemetery, I remembered how we had to pick out Amelia's spot the day after she was born; so beautiful, weighing almost eight pounds. I remembered our family and friends who hugged us as our baby's "treasure chest" was covered with earth, on the spot we picked a week earlier.  

 I realised I have a lot to be grateful for:

I am so grateful for every person who stood by us on that day and the many days that followed. 

I am grateful for the meals, gifts, flowers, cards, walks in the park and everything else that so many people generously gave us. I remember a moment when I was looking around our home, seeing the tiniest details in the beautiful blooms, smelling the scents of the ripe fruit basket, smiling at Amelia's changing table that was overflowing with gentle and supportive cards; I realised that our home was full of love and support, we were not alone. I really mean it when I say Thank you to all of you who made it happen.

I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for my pets. I am grateful for my life. To me, this is all that really matters.  A bereaved mom once said that you really value life only after you lose life. How true. Another bereaved mom said that losing your child is like receiving a "sick gift." It now makes sense. I am grateful for the way I appreciate life now. Little things don't matter anymore, and it feels good. It gives me more time to appreciate the big, the important moments, people, places.

Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving!

 Love & Light

1 comment:

  1. Леночка, каждый раз читая твои посты не могу сдержать слез... Хочется утешить тебя, но это невозможно... Хочется поддержать, но я не знаю как... Но знаю одно, всё еще будет...

    Marina Kuznetsova